i’m making some new commitments, one of which is to let myself be inspired.  i think i have been scared of inspiration, even though there has been so much of it this last year, because i worry if give it the full attention i want to, i’ll end up not paying enough attention to those basic needs (like making rent), which i neglected while writing my first book.

but no more.  Image

i am putting the fear aside.  i’m sure it’ll be right there waiting for me when i come back from kicking some ass.

first, i picked one day in the week to spend only on my own writing and reading.  i can afford to do this not because i have shitloads of money (ha!) and don’t need to earn income every day, but because my writing is work, too.  i chose a weekday so as not to slip into the false impression that writing is just a hobby i do on the weekends.  it is part of my livelihood.

also, i am recommitting myself to my meditation practice.  i am going to start with a hour a day.  i can do half an hour in the morning and half an hour at night, or i can do one full hour sitting.  until i am able to get to a proper 10-day vipassana course (which i’ll have to wait till Spring to do), i will practice on my own.

lastly, i am working on making tutoring/teaching my one and only job because just trying to juggle my calendar has been enough to give me a panic attack – not exactly conducive to staying focused on what’s really important to me.

other steps i’d like to take in the future to improve my focus and production: invest in a writing computer, which will be a different machine from the one i use for internet and everything else; forgo any reading and writing for money, which shrinks the amount of energy and time i have for my own reading and writing needs; find a writing group.

and speaking of inspiration, this artist has me awestruck.  his blog is pretty neat, too.


About thedoubleequal

TheDoubleEqual is interested in Anais Nin, Smut and subtext, Queer literature, Intersections of oppression, Jewish communities, Memoir, Poetry, All art, Subways, and Violent spiritual awakenings. View all posts by thedoubleequal

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